Far-out resort

Recently I attended a meeting held at one of the numerous swanky new resorts that surround Indian cities these days (in this case Bangalore). It was bright and shiny with several “quirks”. Well, quirky is cool, so here are some advertising lines they could use:

Be different: Their shower taps turn the opposite way of every other tap in the world: clockwise to open, anticlockwise to close. Makes it easy to scald yourself if you feel the urge.

Farm-fresh drinks: Some of India’s best vineyards are in the neighbourhood, and the brochure suggests going out for “vine-tasting”, particularly recommending “a glass of red vine” with lunch.

Let it all hang out: Almost, but not quite, hidden by the bed and the bedside table was a hole in the wall from which numerous wires were trailing under the table. We noticed only as we were checking out though, so no sniffer dogs were called in.

Get high on pot: The toilet seat was uncomfortably high, and sloped backwards: it felt a bit like riding a horse.

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